THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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