I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize