I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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