we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
