what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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