After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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