ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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