It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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