SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize