ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
