Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
