Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
