No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
