My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
