so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
