They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
