TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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