she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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