I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
