he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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