Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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