Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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