You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
