Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
