The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
birth control should be required to get into college
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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