Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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