your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
