Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
