Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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