You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
"it" just moved
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
