He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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