Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
