when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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