Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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