Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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