it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
