D3 body, D1 cock
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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