Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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