The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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