Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
