508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
