I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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