just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
