So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
