Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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