then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
