And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
