He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
