I bet he comes in French.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize