got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
