people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
