Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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