Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I FOUND THE LEGS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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