i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
