I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
