my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
