I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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