dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
